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Monthly Archives: January 2011
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Don’t meddle with the Jew
Sir Moses Haim Montefiore (1784-1885), a British Jewish banker and philanthropist, determined defender of human rights and sheriff of London was once seated at dinner next to an important personality and an anti-Semite, who told him he had just returned … Continue reading
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I want to arrange a marriage for your son
A shadchan (matchmaker) goes to see a poor man and says, “I want to arrange a marriage for your son.” The poor man replies, “I never interfere in my son’s life.” The shadchan responds, “But the girl is Lord Rothschild’s … Continue reading
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Yankele, from the Bronx, goes to vacation in Florida
Yankele, from the Bronx, goes to vacation in Florida and decides to send his wife a quick e-mail. However he can’t find the paper where he wrote it down so he types it from memory. Unfortunately, Yankele misses one letter … Continue reading
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Your mother and I are divorcing
An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Pop, what … Continue reading
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Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Mexico City
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Mexico City. One has a cross in front of him. The other one the Star of David. Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put … Continue reading
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Harry Abramowitz wanted to join the Greenvale Country Club
Harry Abramowitz wanted to join the Greenvale Country Club, a club known never to have had a Jewish member. This deterred Harry not at all. First, he went to court and had his name changed from Harry Moses Abramowitz to … Continue reading
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Duved Krekman is burying his wife
Sadly, slowly, Duved Krekman entered the headquarters of the Lantsmon’s Philanthropic League. He trudged into the office of the Executive Secretary and sighed, “Glaser, I’m here.” He sat down. “I have to make arrangements for the League to bury my … Continue reading
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The Pope, The Prime Minister of Israel and a game of golf
The Pope met with his cardinals to discuss a proposal from the Prime Minister of Israel. “Your Holiness,” said one of the Cardinals, “The Prime Minister wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and … Continue reading
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