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Kosher Candy
A Jewish man was in a supermarket in Thornhill, Ontario. He saw a black woman trying to get her young child to put down a candy bar he had picked off the shelf. “Latrell, you put that down! It’s not … Continue reading
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It is all in the way you evaluate situations
The President of Iran was wondering who to invade when his telephone rang. “This is Mendel in Tel Aviv. We’re officially declaring war on you!” “How big is your army?” the president asked. “There’s me, my cousin Moishe, and our … Continue reading
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Actor needed to play an ape
Moishe, a Jewish actor is so down and out, he’s ready to take any acting gig that he can find. Finally, he gets a lead, a classified ad that says, “Actor needed to play an ape.” “I could do that,” … Continue reading
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The proud Jewish mom
The year is 2016 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as the first Jewish president, Susan Goldfarb. She calls up her mother a few weeks after election day and says, “So, Mom, I assume you … Continue reading
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A teacher, her students and religious objects
A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, ‘We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it.’ The … Continue reading
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I want to give you an Aliyah
A Gabbai approaches a guest in the Shul and says: “I want to give you an Aliyah. “What is your name,” he asks the man? The man answers, “Sara bat Moshe.” The Gabbai says, “No, I need YOUR name.” The … Continue reading
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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license. First, of course, he had t o take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: ‘C Z W I X N … Continue reading
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The biker and the immigrant
A biker was riding by the zoo, when he saw a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage. Suddenly, the lion grabbed her by the cuff of her jacket and tried to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the … Continue reading
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Dan was a single guy
Dan was a single guy living at home with his widowed and sickly father and working in the family business. When he found out that his father only had a few months to live and that he (the son) was … Continue reading
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Mommy, How did the human race come about?
A little girl asked her mother, “Mommy, How did the human race come about?” The mother answered: “Well my dear, God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so all mankind was made.” Two days later she asks … Continue reading
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