Category Archives: Humor in English

A Jew walks into the bakery and orders a bagel. The man behind the counter says: “A bagel? That’s 20 dollars.” “20 dollars?! Are you mad!?” “Well, its 1 dollar for the bagel, and 19 dollars for Israel.” “Fine. Money … Continue reading →

A rabbi was walking down the street when, suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew his hat off his head. The rabbi ran after his hat but the wind was so strong it kept blowing his hat farther and farther … Continue reading →

Morris went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got real trouble. Every time I get into bed, I get his weird feeling that there’s somebody under it. I look under the bed, to check it out, but then I … Continue reading →

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving strangely. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That’s not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general … Continue reading →

Marty Barris, talented trumpeter-funnyman, made this astute observation about an economic recession: “The price of food is going out of sight. My supermarket is turning into a temple. I see people walking up and down the ailes shouting, ‘Oh, my … Continue reading →

A cantor brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: “Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000.” There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room. Suddenly, from the back of … Continue reading →

An old Jewish man and a young Jewish man are traveling on the train. The young man asks: “Excuse me, what time is it?” The old man does not answer. “Excuse me, sir, what time is it?” The old man … Continue reading →

Ben was in a hospital ward with two non-Jews. On his first morning, Ben puts on his tefillin, but the non-Jews can’t figure out what he is doing. Finally, one says to the other, “Look how smart those Jews are! … Continue reading →